Jessica Simpson has a hamberger pussy & asshole

One of my friends is very adamant about this. His theory is that Jessica Simpson although admittedly very beautiful hides a terrible secret. That secret is that her vagina and apparently matching asshole resemble hamburger meat. He goes on to further describe that this is the partly cooked and raw slightly gray, but still bloody brick of ground chuck. Not a small petite brick mind you, but a good 4-5 pound one. You know implying that her privates are not only ugly but also huge.

He is however very in love with Paris Hilton. Now in my humble opinion Paris is one of the most despicable human beings alive. But apparently that's OK because at least she doesn't have a Jessica Simpson hamburger pussy.

Right?

(Via Paris on Save Manny.)